If you’ve read “Gunga Din” and ever wondered what “Lazarushian-leather” meant, check out Tommy Lee Jones’s face in this film.  The illegal immigrants come off best here; some of us Yanquis don’t do so badly, but some of us are shameful.  As for the story, well, somebody maybe watched the final journey of Lonesome Dove one too many times.

FF=2

I saw this years ago.  It’s considered a classic thriller, so I decided to revisit it.  Nope.  Doesn’t work.  The opening assassination is so poorly planned it’s laughable.  And then Warren Beatty misplays his character.  He’s too cool, too pretty, and did not engage me one bit.  I simply couldn’t buy him as a scrappy, down-at-the-heels reporter, and so I didn’t care when he finally latched onto a Pulitzer-caliber Big Story.  The direction too was distancing.

FF=3

It’s now a Mel Gibson film, but it originated as a BBC mini-series back in the mid-1980s.  Since I was housebound by the early February 2010 snowpocalypse, I watched all 6 hours back to back. A bit shopworn, and the end didn’t pay off for all the time invested, but it was a wonderful journey. Great acting and Joe Don Baker was super.

FF=1

What fun.  Can a bloody, gory, super-violent film be funny and even sweet?  Yes.  Bill Murray’s cameo as himself is worth the price alone.

FF=1

Okay, we all know I have a beef with Michael Mann, but this has a great cast and exciting subject matter.  I really wanted to like this, but…meh. The only person I was rooting for was Billie, even though she was acting dumb. Everyone else left me cold.

FF=2

Takashi Miike’s entry for the second season of “Masters of Horror.”  No wonder Showtime wouldn’t air it.  I can almost imagine him thinking: What elements can I combine to offend everyone?  Let’s see . . . murder, of course, but let’s add abortion, dead fetuses, incest, infanticide, child sexual abuse, torture, and rape.  Oh, and don’t forget terrible acting and a stupid, out-of-the-blue twist.  Beautifully filmed, wince-inducing, eye-averting derangements.

FF=2

This is a crazy film that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but is fun to watch because of the crisscrossing storylines.  It uses cell phones as a sneaky and nifty way to work in lumps of exposition.  I had a good time with it.  (I probably would have FF’d some in the beginning had I controlled the remote, but once it gets rolling, it grabs you.)

FF=0

I haven’t seen a Val Kilmer film in a while.  I was kind of hoping for Island of Dr. Moreau caliber lunacy or Tombstone coolness, but Kilmer is kind of sleepwalking here.  I’m curious as to why he took the role. The clumsy swipes at Halliburton, the Minutemen, and the Iraq war?  A paycheck?  Whatever, it starts off looking like a First Blood rip-off but soon turns into Bad Day at Black Rock minus the stellar cast and fabulous desert vistas, but with lots of extra blood.  Even at 90 minutes it’s padded with flat sex scenes and lengthy transitions.  Rewatch First Blood and Bad Day instead.

FF=3

A revenge story that has some satisfying retribution in its 3^rd act, but you’ve seen it all before.  The hero is boring.  Billy Zane, in a supporting role, has the only character with a third dimension.  The rest of the bad guys spend the film twirling their mustaches.

FF=3

Yet another revenge story with a boring hero.  At least the villains are interesting; they have all the good lines.

FF=3