ALIEN VS PREDATOR 2

Why do I do this to myself?  Well, unlike many people, I didn’t hate the first, which I thought had a pretty decent story.  But this…I had no idea what was going on.  Maybe because most of it was shot by the light of a 10-watt bulb.  The Alien and the Predator are pretty cool monsters, but you couldn’t see them here.  Don’t bother trying.

FF=4

MAX PAYNE

Awful.  Numbingly by the numbers.  If you didn’t guess the bad guy from his first appearance on screen, you need to get a rebate on your lobotomy.  I can’t remember one original moment in the whole film.

FF=4

GI JOE – THE RISE OF COBRA

Why do I do this to myself? The trailer looked like mindless action and sometimes I need mindless action, but…this has to be the most illogical, ill-conceived, misbegotten piece of crap I’ve seen in an age. I reduced the life-minutes lost by fast forwarding through much of the film, but the end where they detonate the ice cap and everyone underwater flees to avoid the ice chunks SINKING ON THEM!!!!  Is there a term for something that sucks off intelligence? I know I lost half a dozen IQ points watching this thing.

FF=4