INFAMOUS

I rented this to compare the two Trumans: Philip Seymour Hoffman (from Capote) and Toby Jones here.  Jones wins by a mile.  He must have channeled Capote.  It was uncanny and a bit unnerving.  This molasses-paced film didn’t hide Capote’s deceitful and manipulative nature, and his utter self-absorption (as when he hopes the killers get a death sentence rather than life, because their deaths will mean he can end his book with “a period.”)

FF=3

THE MIST

I wanted to like this.  I loved King’s story, but the film left me flat.  Lots of people doing dumb things.  Like it’s night and all these huge bugs are landing on the windows.  Why?  Obviously they’re attracted by the lanterns left near the windows.  Get the lights away from the window and the bugs will go.  But no – they bring more lights for a better look.  This inevitably leads to broken windows and bugs and worse inside.  The ending is a real downer – intentionally so.

FF=3

MY MOM’S NEW BOYFRIEND

Really, I rented this only because Netflix said it was “inspired by the Alfred Hitchcock classic To Catch a Thief.”  NOT!  It’s awful.  Predictable as hell.  AND WHAT DID MEG RYAN DO TO HER LIPS???  She used to have the sweetest smile (see When Harry Met Sally) and now it’s been distorted into some hideous mutant rictus by collagen injections.  What is the matter with these women?  Why mess with perfection?  Sheesh!

FF=3

THE MACHINE GIRL

Wow. An over-the-top gorefest in the Dead Alive tradition. I do not like gore if it’s realistic. This is not – it’s stylized to surreality and absurdity. We’re talking fire-hose sprays of blood. This is a perfect Bad Movie Night film. Buncha guys, buncha beers, buncha pizzas, lotta groans and laughs. (I don’t recommend sushi with this.) The relatively high FF Rating™ is due to my skimming through attempts at acting and character/relationship development – that is NOT why you rent this movie.

FF=3

THE NINES

I rented this because Ryan Reynolds plays three characters, and plays them well.  The script though…it’s solipsistic and ontologically challenged (my big words for the week).  It ends up a head scratcher.  I mean, I know what the ending meant, I just don’t understand why anyone would write that ending.

FF=3

WAR

Jet Li vs Jason Statham.  You’d expect a lot of mayhem.  Well, there was some, and a few good set pieces, but the twist toward the end…I can suspend my disbelief with the best of them, but not when it flies in the face of all logic.  Sorry, we have too many ways to identify a body to let you get away with that.

FF=3

THE WRESTLER

I think Mickey Rourke got such good reviews because in a way he’s playing himself.  Look at the Rourke of “9-1/2 Weeks” and “Diner” and see what he’s done to himself.  Yikes.  Very depressing except for Marisa Tomei who keeps taking off her top.

FF=3

THE PARALLAX VIEW

I saw this years ago.  It’s considered a classic thriller, so I decided to revisit it.  Nope.  Doesn’t work.  The opening assassination is so poorly planned it’s laughable.  And then Warren Beatty misplays his character.  He’s too cool, too pretty, and did not engage me one bit.  I simply couldn’t buy him as a scrappy, down-at-the-heels reporter, and so I didn’t care when he finally latched onto a Pulitzer-caliber Big Story.  The direction too was distancing.

FF=3