MAX PAYNE

Awful.  Numbingly by the numbers.  If you didn’t guess the bad guy from his first appearance on screen, you need to get a rebate on your lobotomy.  I can’t remember one original moment in the whole film.

FF=4

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GI JOE – THE RISE OF COBRA

Why do I do this to myself? The trailer looked like mindless action and sometimes I need mindless action, but…this has to be the most illogical, ill-conceived, misbegotten piece of crap I’ve seen in an age. I reduced the life-minutes lost by fast forwarding through much of the film, but the end where they detonate the ice cap and everyone underwater flees to avoid the ice chunks SINKING ON THEM!!!!  Is there a term for something that sucks off intelligence? I know I lost half a dozen IQ points watching this thing.

FF=4

THE T.A.M.I. SHOW

A B&W film of a 1964 rock concert. Weird mix of hokey (go-go dancers!) and cool. Unlike the laserdisc I’ve had for years, the DVD is programmed and menued. Some acts are painful, but the last two – James Brown and the Stones – are worth the price of the disk. I hate the word incredible, but it’s the only one that fits Brown’s performance. Plus a baby-faced Keith Richards – amazing.

FF=4 (except for those last 2 acts)

THE RED BARON

I’ve long been fascinated by Manfred von Richthofen. Matt Costello and I even wrote a screenplay about him.  But I watched The Red Baron with dismay. The inaccuracies and anachronisms start with the opening scene and continue through the film. A complete disregard for the man’s character and The Flying Circus – the fighting unit he commanded. He was a born hunter and here he’s a fop. The planes and the aerial combat scenes are gorgeous, however. See this for the planes. Ignore the story.

FF=4

SKYLINE

Heard nothing good about this one, but figured, How bad can it be? Turns out, Pretty bad. But you make excuses for low budgets. Then came the ending. No excuse for that.  Avoid.  You will not get those 90 minutes back.

FF=4