Philip Seymour Hoffman again.  Despite its cast and director (Lumet), the film is shot with a low-budget look, but that works to its advantage.  I didn’t have high hopes when I rented it, but I wound up entranced (and not just by Marisa Tomei’s nude scenes).  Excellent performances in a tragic story.

FF=0

Big disappointment.  I was expecting another “Lock, Stock…” or “Snatch” and got something else. Don’t ask me what I got; I’m still not sure.  Oh, there’s good watching – especially the Sorter character – but it all leads to nothing.  Or rather to something ham handed and unbearably pretentious.  A Message Film – yikes!  (The finale scene with Ray Liotta whispering, “Fear me…fear me…”  Just. Awful.)  And idiot plotting: The protagonist (played by Jason Statham with hair) doesn’t figure out what everyone watching the film, regardless of mental capacity, has figured out from the moment he relates his prison experience.  (NB: The low FF Rating™ is due to misplaced faith in Guy Richie and the assumption that the overblown dialogue and meandering monologues would turn out to be important. Wrong!)

FF=0

Why do I do this to myself?  Well, unlike many people, I didn’t hate the first, which I thought had a pretty decent story.  But this…I had no idea what was going on.  Maybe because most of it was shot by the light of a 10-watt bulb.  The Alien and the Predator are pretty cool monsters, but you couldn’t see them here.  Don’t bother trying.

FF=4

Now, you knew I’d have to see this.  Not simply because I derived such guiltless pleasure from the first three, but because David Morrell (the creator of the character) told me it’s well worth a look.  It takes place in Burma (I can’t call it Myanmar) and has gained a smattering of political correctness (imagine that) from the recent events – the way the real-life monsters in charge there handled the post-cyclone relief is in perfect tune with the atrocities of the government forces in the film.  (In fact, the film is banned there.)  Stallone co-wrote and directed.  It’s got its share of implausibilities and impossibilities, but it works perfectly as a coda to the Rambo canon.  Be warned: It’s bloody.

FF=0

Demi Moore and Michael Caine in a quiet semi-caper film that’s unexpectedly engaging.  It’s got plot holes but don’t let them bother you.  Just sit back and watch.

FF=0

I wanted to like this.  I loved King’s story, but the film left me flat.  Lots of people doing dumb things.  Like it’s night and all these huge bugs are landing on the windows.  Why?  Obviously they’re attracted by the lanterns left near the windows.  Get the lights away from the window and the bugs will go.  But no – they bring more lights for a better look.  This inevitably leads to broken windows and bugs and worse inside.  The ending is a real downer – intentionally so.

FF=3

Coming of age in Brooklyn during the mob wars in the 80s.  Not bad.  Some decent acting, but a predictable script.  Three mismatched but lifelong buddies.  If you figure one of them’s not gonna make it, you figure right.  And no surprise which one.

FF=2

Really, I rented this only because Netflix said it was “inspired by the Alfred Hitchcock classic To Catch a Thief.”  NOT!  It’s awful.  Predictable as hell.  AND WHAT DID MEG RYAN DO TO HER LIPS???  She used to have the sweetest smile (see When Harry Met Sally) and now it’s been distorted into some hideous mutant rictus by collagen injections.  What is the matter with these women?  Why mess with perfection?  Sheesh!

FF=3

Wow. An over-the-top gorefest in the Dead Alive tradition. I do not like gore if it’s realistic. This is not – it’s stylized to surreality and absurdity. We’re talking fire-hose sprays of blood. This is a perfect Bad Movie Night film. Buncha guys, buncha beers, buncha pizzas, lotta groans and laughs. (I don’t recommend sushi with this.) The relatively high FF Rating™ is due to my skimming through attempts at acting and character/relationship development – that is NOT why you rent this movie.

FF=3

Not bad.  It seems like you’ve seen it all before, but it has some nice touches.  Definitely worth the rental.

FF=2