British noir via Graham Greene. I saw both versions back to back and it’s amazing how creepy Richard Attenborough looked as a young man. I’d been told the earlier version is better; it’s somewhat more coherent, but only marginally so. If you like noir, I think you’ll like either one, especially the last scene – a knockout no matter which version you choose.

FF=1 for each (but in different parts)

A thoroughly unpleasant film involving plague and the Medieval Inquisition. It takes some unpredictable turns but I find the various inquisitions among the darkest hours of the human soul and watched this at arm’s length. (It occurred to me while watching that the same mentality persists among the political correctness crowd which still demands a periodic auto da fe.)

FF=3

Mary Elizabeth Winstead is very easy on the eyes, but this film has a lot going against it. First off, the fact that it’s a prequel puts the audience way ahead of the cast. That would be okay, but the characters do such stupid things. Let’s not tell anyone what we found. And hey, why don’t we drill into the block of ice to get a tissue sample from the creature? Really? No thought to alien microbes? This needs to be done under level-4 contamination precautions. I lost confidence in the screenplay there. The fillings were a clever touch, but mostly, to quote “Motorpsycho Nightmare” – “Oh, no, no, I’ve been through this movie before.”

FF=3

After seeing “The Guard” I decided to have a mini Brendan Gleeson festival. This one has scattered fits of violence but superb dialogue and some black, black humor that had me laughing out loud (yes, real LOLs).

FF=0

Kind of goofy fun – if you don’t mind gore and don’t mind a screenplay that plays fast and loose with Greek mythology.  Mickey Rourke is his usual overplayed self.  Lots of spectacle and cool effects.  Directed by the guy who did “The Cell” so expect neato visuals but not a lot of coherence.

FF=2

Despite its cast, this did not engage me.  I didn’t believe any of it for a minute.  The characters didn’t ring true, had no chemistry, and the plot was so full of holes… not offensive, not enough of anything to hate, just blah. You have better ways to spend your time and money.

FF=4

A documentary on the king of the B’s (movies, that is).  Roger Corman’s New World Pictures optioned THE TOMB back in the 80’s and came up with a truly awful screenplay (set in Pasadena!) which was, thankfully, never produced.  A schlockmeister who gave some iconic actors and directors their start.  Worth seeing just to watch Jack Nicholson burst into tears talking about him.

FF=0

Yet another film that doesn’t deliver on the promise of its trailer. The big names in the cast are window dressing. Gina Carano has good action chops but provides no emotional handle. Lots of running around. Maybe if I watched it again the plot would make sense to me, but that’s not gonna happen.

FF=3

I was warned but I rented it anyway. Words fail me. The only good thing I can say about it: Rent it for bad movie night. It’s so atrociously awful that it’s good for a few laughs. The costumes are hilarious – they must have raided every prop room in Thailand – to hell with the period – who cares if that’s Roman armor, put it on! Must be seen to be believed.

FF=3 (would have been higher but both hands were occupied practicing the banjo)

I tried this just because of Glenn Close, expecting some sort of cross-dressing “Downton Abbey” that I would turn off after 20 minutes. And after Janet McTeer flashed her breasts, I thought, Here come the contrivances. But I stayed for the whole 113 minutes, never once reaching for the remote. This is an amazing little character-driven film. Glenn Close is in complete control of the uniquely repressed title character and the screenplay embodies the symmetry that defines good storytelling.
FF=0